Rule # 3!!

Another day, another rule!
And here it is:

•  Do not go over to his house while he is away!

Cece asked me to come over to spend some time with her at the condo, CB's condo that is, which I've been avoiding for a while now but finally gave in because I had to pick up some things he had asked for.  Well I was right in wanting to avoid going over. It hurt like hell. I knew exactly what was going to happen...

I parked my car, got out, and walked to the front door and I froze. I knew the second I rang the doorbell what I would feel and what I would expect. I stood there for a minute lost in memory. This exact moment is one I always look forward to so very much when he is home. After spending a week away from each other, I love the anticipation of walking from my car to his front door, ringing the bell, feeling my butterflies grow in my stomach as I see him come down the stairs and the best part of getting to kiss and hug him as soon as that door opens.

Well tonight was very different. Tonight I froze. Tonight the legs I saw coming down the stairs were not his. The face looking at me with a smile in the window was not his. The kisses I got as a greeting were on the cheeks and not from his lips. Tonight the person that greeted me was not him. This hurt more than I was prepared for. This I kept to myself.

We had coffee, we talked, she showed me her room that she just painted, we ate pickles, we had a good time. But it just felt like he was missing the whole time. She feels the same way I do, it's hard on her as well so I take some comfort in that. We have each other to a certain degree. I can just never tell her how uncomfortable I am there, it isn't fair to her. So I'll suck it up and hopefully keep our meetings out in the public.

The second to worst part was going into his room. I just wanted to climb into his bed, curl up with his pillow and sob. Obviously that would be bad quest etiquette, so I held myself back. It wasn't easy. I just kept reminding myself he wasn't the last person to sleep there so hugging his pillow would just be creepy, I'd be curling up with his brother's smell. So what did I do? I stole his cologne!!! Okay so technically it's not stealing cause I asked him if I could before hand, but still.

CB called today so that put me in a great mood. We were talking about his care package and what not and he asked for a "mixed tape". Now I'm not sure if hes serious or not but obviously I'll send one anyways. I figure I'll go super corny and put a bunch of old school love songs or all Britney Spears. He's played a few of her slow songs a couple of times we were together so I figured that might make him laugh.

The other idea I got was a DVD of video clips of me with little messages. I originally just wanted to e-mail him a clip of me saying hi but he said it wasn't a good idea. When he mentioned the mix tape I got the idea of a "mix tape" DVD. Now as far as all the different messages I'll send I have to think of something cute fast cause I'd like to ship everything Monday. I'm open to suggestion!! Please help!

*What I miss about him most - his warmth.

2 weeks! New rule!

I realized the other day while I was talking with lil sis that I have to stop being negative. As much as I want to say "Oh My GOD! It's only been 2 weeks!!!!" I need to think " Oh wow, it's already been two weeks!!" Except .....except,except,except I can't help but add "22 more to go" with a sarcastic tone in my head. I want to kick my own ass! I feel like I am self sabotaging. This is no longer aloud! It's officially a rule!

...Oh and as for crying on city buses, that is also no longer allowed and also a rule!

I scared the life out of myself this morning.
I wondered downstairs after waking up to let the dog out and in search of a nice cup of last nights left over coffee. Get the dog out the back door and a mug in the microwave, things are starting off great! I go to check on Pooper and watch him while I wait for the magical *BEEP*your coffee is now reheated *BEEP*. Well as I turned around to walk back to the kitchen I notice what looks to be like a man sitting on the sofa and I screamed! I was so caught off guard I tripped and landed on my ass. Apparently I had left Huge-O downstairs last night and I thought he was a real person. My mom came down laughing at me knowing exactly what had just happened. She told me after we were done laughing he creeped her out a few times last night too as she was moving around the kitchen and living room.
Anyways just in case your wondering, the coffee was wonderful!

CB's game, Medal of Honor? (how bad is that I ordered it, paid for it, opened the box, and I still can't tell you the name of the thing...) came in yesterday! He's going to be super excited....in about a month from now lol. I'm getting all the last things together for his care package. Canada post apparently has free shipping from October 18th to January 2nd which is super awesome but I've been warned to expect some issues with them. Apparently they don't understand or like the protocol  I have to follow in order to ship anything to him, they want full information on the box and apparently this usually results with forcing them to make a phone call or taking the parcel somewhere else. Hopefully this is not the case here and it's just an exaggerated story someone decided to tell me.

Mid terms are on Wednesday, I have entered mini panic mode, I expect to hit full panic freak out by about Tuesday afternoon. PLEASE BE MULTIPLE CHOICE!!!!!!

*What I miss about him most - his love for my shoes, I need new boots and hes so supportive of my shoe addiction. He so fun to shop with and I love how we go shopping for me but we end up shopping for him. I could watch him change all day.