Monday, February 7, 2011

Starting To Forget...

I'm scared that I am starting to forget, or have already forgotten, certain things about CB...
I can't remember what he smells like, but I do remember he really stinks after working out
I can barely picture his smile, the few photos I have he doesn't smile in.
I forgot how much bigger his hands are than mine, but I do remember how callused and "manly" they were
I can't remember which arm has which tattoo on it, I think I know but I can't be 100% certain and it's driving me nuts.
There is a ton of other more important things but I wont get into them all.

I am torn again between excitement and fear over his approaching homecoming.  I know this is probably all normal but it still sucks. I'm excited for the obvious reasons. The fear comes from many places... I'm scared we wont be as connected as we were. I'm scared hes gotten use to being on his own and "single" again, especially since his best friend over there just left his common-law wife.

Despite being a very independent man he is easily influenced by his friends. When he was single he really identified with his single friends and they only encouraged bad behavior amongst each other. Then a lot of them found girlfriends, or started getting serious with the girls they were seeing so he did the same. I'm just scared and insecure about certain things and haven't had the time to talk them over with him. I'm not sure that I want to.

Of course with all this on my mind I can't help but notice he doesn't say I love you or I miss you, as much.
I am clearly pmsing.... lol


  1. Well we all have our fears after not seeing our loves for a long time. Hopefully everything turns out for the best.

  2. Hang in there he's almost home. You are right you are having completely normal feelings. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.


  3. No need to be scared. Everything will work out. Imagine how exciting it will be to rediscover all the good the things you have forgotten :)

  4. Everything you are feeling is completely normal! I went through similar feelings. I thought I forgot how to kiss him haha. But then you see him at the airport and it feels like he never left! I promise, things will go back to normal. Yes, they make take some adjusting, but you guys will get through it :)

  5. I am having the same exact fears over homecoming. I am so very excited but I had a serious freak out about it last night. Right before I bought my ticket to Hawaii, I started crying just picturing Boyfriend saying he didnt want me anymore.

    I think its all completely normal. You get used to a routine that you are in and things are changing. I am sure he still loves you just as much as before and cant wait to see you.