I'm scared that I am starting to forget, or have already forgotten, certain things about CB...
I can't remember what he smells like, but I do remember he really stinks after working out
I can barely picture his smile, the few photos I have he doesn't smile in.
I forgot how much bigger his hands are than mine, but I do remember how callused and "manly" they were
I can't remember which arm has which tattoo on it, I think I know but I can't be 100% certain and it's driving me nuts.
There is a ton of other more important things but I wont get into them all.
I am torn again between excitement and fear over his approaching homecoming. I know this is probably all normal but it still sucks. I'm excited for the obvious reasons. The fear comes from many places... I'm scared we wont be as connected as we were. I'm scared hes gotten use to being on his own and "single" again, especially since his best friend over there just left his common-law wife.
Despite being a very independent man he is easily influenced by his friends. When he was single he really identified with his single friends and they only encouraged bad behavior amongst each other. Then a lot of them found girlfriends, or started getting serious with the girls they were seeing so he did the same. I'm just scared and insecure about certain things and haven't had the time to talk them over with him. I'm not sure that I want to.
Of course with all this on my mind I can't help but notice he doesn't say I love you or I miss you, as much.
I am clearly pmsing.... lol