So after my rant yesterday I figured I'd post the good part of my day, yesterday.
I got to talk to CB TWICE!!!
I couldn't sleep again the other night and was up when he responded to my facebook message so we started sending a few back and forth until I told him to call. Only by the time he called I was half asleep and apparently I wasn't making any sense. All I remember is him telling me he was sweaty, he loved me, and he would call me later. I slept really well after that lol. It's been soo long since I heard his voice before falling asleep, I forgot how comforting it was.
Phone call #2 made me pretty happy as well. He laughed at the nonsense I was talking earlier, we joked around, and I got to talk to him about my insecurities about him coming home.
I started off by telling him that I knew what I was feeling was silly and stupid but that I still just needed to hear him tell me I was wrong. I expressed all my fears I'm feeling about homecoming, told him I was scared he would leave me again because of our past (he did it twice while we were trying to make things work in the beginning). His Response? "Well then, I really don't need to say anything if you know you're being silly and wrong, do I?" UGH!!! He made me laugh cause it's a typical CB answer. I told him I needed to hear the words and so he said them.
He told me things were different when we got together the last time. He asked if I had forgotten everything he had said to me in the car that night, when he came back and put up a fight for me and asked for me back. I told him I hadn't. He then told me he isn't one to talk emotions, which I told him I know, and he said "so just remember what I said then, I still mean it today. I love you, I miss you, I'm coming home to you". Needless to say my heart melted.
He may not be able to say what he feels all the time but when he does it means the world to me. I think that's part of why deployment has been so rough on me. He shows me in his day to day actions how he feels for me, and him being deployed kind of cuts into that. But I must admit he has done his best. He calls when I need him to, he calls frequently, he gladly bought me a winter jacket when I couldn't afford one, he listens while we are on the phone, and he lets my craziness slide when it shows its ugly head from time to time.
I'm so excited my countdown is getting so small, just about a month left. Woohoo!
Time to get my butt to La Senza and pick out a few outfits. I'm really tempted to buy a cute garter belt and stockings to wear under a dress to the airport BUT I have a feeling I'll probably end up jumping up on him to greet him and his brother and Cece will be there so I don't know exactly how long I'll be "stuck" in the outfit....