Friday, February 18, 2011

For The First Time

this song came on my playlist on the bus ride home last night. I just so happened to be picturing CB's homecoming and I ended up tearing up on the bus, AGAIN! I seriously need to learn that there is no crying on the bus! Even if they are happy tears.

I was caught up in thinking of things like if I would need my glasses to recognize him? Would he be carrying his bags? How quickly would he drop them if he was? Would I be able to easily spot the other military families waiting? How much pacing back and forth will I do? How the hell am I ever going to let go once I get my arms around him?

I feel like I am walking around with the most amazing secret inside me. Yes, I am anxious and getting very antsy BUT I am also extremely happy to be feeling this way.

I figure I wont need my glasses to pick him out of a crowd. I can already picture his walk and mannerism. I'll recognize his frame as soon as I lay my eyes on it. It's funny, I was so worried about all the things I thought I had forgotten about him, but they're all still there in my memory. They are resurfacing as the countdown gets smaller and smaller. I can better remember the feel of his calloused hands, his smell, his smile, it's all coming back lol.

I'm currently stuck on the memory of me being overly dramatic on the day he left. I remember trying to be so strong and not cry in front of him that we didn't have a proper goodbye and I jumped into my car. I sat there for a minute and kicked myself in the ass. I couldn't leave it at that, got out of my car and ran after him to his car and told him to wait, I needed one more hug. He held on so tight.

Alright I just made myself tear up again lol, time to stop!



  1. I'm so excited for you!!! I always rush away when it comes to goodbyes!

  2. I am so excited for you!! I hope the til homecoming time flies by.