Out of the very many things I am going to be glad to be done with in regards to deployment, a major one is worrying about timing.
There are certain hours and times I know CB is either likely to call or be on facebook. Around those times I feel paralyzed. I am too scared to move away from the computer or my cellphone for any reason. Showering becomes a sport where speed counts as well as the aftermath of avoiding the puddles you create jumping in and out because you thought you heard your phone. And as far as blow drying my hair? You can just forget it. It takes twice as long (just over an hour) and is just pointless, it still comes out only looking mediocre.
Today is one of the very last few days I will be stuck in this routine of "waiting". YAY
It is sinking in, slowly, that he is almost home. There are times when I am excited as hell and then there are days where I am scared out of my mind. I know it's normal and unwarranted, he's told me so, but it doesn't calm my nerves.
There are so many "what ifs?" in my head I am driving myself crazy.
Yay! I'm so happy the days of waiting are dwindling for you!
ReplyDeleteI am in the exact same boat as you. Everyone keeps acting like I should only be excited but I am not. I am stressed and freaked out. I dont think the fears and stress will go away until we see our loved ones. When we can look in their eyes and feel their embrace. Until then sure the excitement is there but its more than that. People that dont understand have been making me feel really guilty, even more so because I get to go to to Hawaii to see him and that is supposed to be something real special (its not to me).
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