I can't believe it's already been a month!
After taking some advice from Lil Mrs. and focusing on a "count up" as appose to a countdown, I feel like I have accomplished something facing the middle of week 5.
Missing him still hurts a lot.
Sleeping alone now leaves me restless.
Sad songs still make me weep.
He crosses my mind just as frequently.
But on the other hand.... my fears of "can I do this" have faded. I have acquired a few new fears but they are very manageable. I am less fearful of this process and have come to accept it for what it is.
Everyday he is gone my love for him and pride of him only grows stronger.
Remembrance day is just around the corner and it reminds me of one of my first memories with CB and I.
November 11th of last year is where I can remember perfectly one of our earlier conversations. We didn't know each other that well back then and had maybe only met a few times. Well that morning we were texting back and forth as I took the bus to school flirting and being cute. I had arrived early for my first class so I decided to sit outside, smoke a cigarette and enjoy the sunshine. Well this being my first year in this city I wasn't aware of what is customary on this day, or even that it was Remembrance day to be honest.
Well all of a sudden my ear phones go quiet ( I was listening to the radio) and a couple of what I can only guess to be fighter jets fly right over the buildings at campus. Me being me, which is clueless, am completely confused and slightly concerned until the radio announces "thank you for the moment of silence". Just as soon as that's done am I pressing send on a text message to CB but instead end up answering his call.
I just remember us laughing at my stupidity/clueless-ness and just having one of the best conversations ever. All our conversations before this were forced on my part. I wasn't really feeling him but yet I still kept finding myself giving him another chance. Boy am I happy I did!!I pretty much sorta fell for him on this one phone conversation.
*What I miss about him most today - his silly dance moves he pulls