Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Which is Worse?

I'm not sure which feeling I hate more at the moment....

Situation A - not talking to CB for a week and freaking out about it

or

Situation B - missing 5 phone calls from CB in the same day after not speaking to him for a week?

Damnit! I need voicemail.

*Insert happy dance here* HE CALLED!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up this morning to see CB had finally replied to one of my 6 million messages on facebook (and by 6 million I mean 7) and got soo excited. Such a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

This is what he wrote:
"Hey you!
Don't worry I had to go away for a few days. Everything is well here and I'm good. I hope you didn't get too worried, but me being gone for a few days is normal. Love you lots and take care of yourself honey bunny and if you need to express yourself don't be shy.
Buenas noches"

I love him!
Considering our past I'm always worried he'll snap out of it and revert to the single version of himself. I'm scared I'll scare him away or that my almost daily messages will get on his nerves. But then I think of his past and what happened to him the last time he was over (he bought a place on base, had a gf move in, paid off all her debt, went overseas, and she slept with every guy on base she could get her hands on) and I realize I'm crazy. I'm sure it reassures him as much as it comforts me.

The last line really touches me the most. I love that he genuinely wants to hear what I'm feeling and isn't scared off by it. It just shows me how much he has taken down his walls and really stepped into this relationship. He is the most amazing man I have ever had the chance to get to know let alone be with.

It was heartbreaking today to see that I missed his calls by minutes each time. The first time I had just gotten into work and must have just locked my cell phone away. I noticed on my break that I had 2 missed calls so I quickly fired off a message on facebook saying "CALL ME NOW! I have 20 minutes of my break left!!!" Well he called 50 minutes after I sent the message... boo. Clearly he's not so good at noticing the times because he then wrote me back to say " You're not answering  my love".
I am a firm believer that men only understand their own timeline and schedules.

Well my phone is now on max volume and is glued to my hand! I don't want to go to sleep in case I miss yet another call...
I really can't decide which of the two situations makes me feel worse

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