Sunday, November 7, 2010

What An Awful Feeling

Yesterday I spent the day working for a friend of the family and keeping busy, it was great. Once we were finished up at the store we went to go grab some takeout to bring home to my place and enjoy with my mom. We ate, we laughed, we stuffed our faces, and then we all got lazy.

I wandered up to my room exhausted hoping to catch up on some school reading but ended up playing around online as usual. So here I am downloading music, creeping CB on facebook, basically everything and anything but studying because I'm so zoned out and then the doorbell rings. This is like 9 o'clock at night on a Saturday, who the hell gets unexpected visitors at this hour is the only thought I had at that exact moment. I jump out of bed and run so I can see who or what it is, instead I see my mom approaching the door very apprehensively and then BOOM anxiety attack. My stomach dropped, my heart was racing, I was in a cold sweat, and I just had an overall horrible feeling. All for a freaking door-to-door salesman! YOU ASS!

For some reason when I saw my mom walking up to the door the way she did my worst fears set it in for a second. All I could remember was what one of CB's colleagues had told me "Phones don't ring for bad news, doorbells do". I quickly calmed myself down and came to my senses, I wouldn't be the one who gets notified anyway. Needless to say I was still shaken from it and had a horrible time trying to fall asleep, all I could think of was how much I miss him and what on earth is he dealing with emotionally, physically, and mentally. I love him so very much and all I want is for him to be safe.

I called my dad today, I'm not sure why I always regret it right after. Don't get me wrong our relationship is not horrible but he is just so oblivious and clueless when it comes to me it's hard for us to connect. Our conversation was as follows:
Hi dad
Hi Elle, how are you
I'm good dad how are you
Good watching the game, are you calling to wish me a happy birthday?
No dad... I did that already...on your birthday...
Oh you did?
Yes dad, what did you take up drinking and start forgetting things hehe? 
Nah it must be my memory I am 65 now you know
How's your boyfriend? did he leave yet?
He's good, and yea he left a while ago dad.... (i've only told him 15 times)
Oh good good! Is it serious?
Well I'd hope so! I did decide to wait for him for 6 months
Oh right...good! No (insert last name ) waits on the sidelines for nobody! ( he then proceeded to laugh hysterically at his own joke)

I love my dad, you can always count on him to tell a horrible joke and then piss himself laughing till he turns so red in the face my mom would get concerned about his blood pressure. I unfortunately took after my dad in this way... I laugh at all my stupid jokes that I know are only funny to me. Meh at least we entertain ourselves.

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