I have been bed ridden for days and have started to develop cabin fever. I would welcome the cabin fever with open arms if there were signs I was getting better, but that is not the case. I feel like I am getting worse, considerably so that I am even contemplating going to the doctors this afternoon. That's huge for me seeing as how I hate doctors!!
All I want is CB, his sofa, a ton of movies, and a huge pot of chicken noodle soup. Oh and something to make the room stop spinning. What a way to spend my "spring break" lol.
I had a tough convo with Cece today. CB hasn't told her she isn't coming to the airport yet...She started asking me all kinds of questions about picking him up and what not... I didn't know what to say. It's not my place. I just went along with it... Is that wrong? Should I just tell him to let her be there? I rather have the one on one time but I think it's cruel to all of a sudden say "sorry, we've been planning this for 6 months but you are now un-invited."
The hardest part is if/when he tells her she can't be there...I stupidly made plans to go over the night before to help her clean up his place. I saw it as my only opportunity to get his winter jacket. UGH
Nothing is ever simple. I think I might just push him to let her be there. I think that scenario will cause less headaches in the long run. It may not be what he wants, because of the awkwardness, and it isn't what I want either, I'm being selfish, but then there wont be any moodiness from her about it afterwards.
What would you ladies do?
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sick As A Dog
I woke up this morning to find myself with no voice. Try calling out sick to work when you can barely make a squeak, needless to say my boss had a good laugh when he figured out it wasn't a prank call.
As far as yesterdays post, I ended up sending him an e-mail to try and figure out what to say to help. I told him that I often forget how hard this must all be for him and I'm sorry if I'm not always receptive to when he is getting down. I told him I understood that he can not tell me a lot of what is going on and that he also chooses not to tell me a lot of it as well and that I hoped when he was home, in due time, he would let me in a little more. I reminded him of how shortly he would be home and what was waiting for him. I also joked, to lighten the mood...he can't take too much mushy stuff at once..., that he better not be too hungover when he gets off that plane because he is going to need his balance when I jump up to hug and kiss him.
I was pleasantly surprised by his answer this morning. Apparently my message had some of its desired effect.
Now to drag my butt to the pharmacy for tons and tons of halls and other soar throat things....
I just want to be able to smoke a cigarette....how wrong is that? lol
As far as yesterdays post, I ended up sending him an e-mail to try and figure out what to say to help. I told him that I often forget how hard this must all be for him and I'm sorry if I'm not always receptive to when he is getting down. I told him I understood that he can not tell me a lot of what is going on and that he also chooses not to tell me a lot of it as well and that I hoped when he was home, in due time, he would let me in a little more. I reminded him of how shortly he would be home and what was waiting for him. I also joked, to lighten the mood...he can't take too much mushy stuff at once..., that he better not be too hungover when he gets off that plane because he is going to need his balance when I jump up to hug and kiss him.
I was pleasantly surprised by his answer this morning. Apparently my message had some of its desired effect.
Now to drag my butt to the pharmacy for tons and tons of halls and other soar throat things....
I just want to be able to smoke a cigarette....how wrong is that? lol
Monday, February 21, 2011
What Do You Do When....
He has said he has had enough? He indicates he is miserable? That his week of decompression can't come fast enough?
It breaks my heart to hear how down and fed up he is. Sometimes I forget that he is going through one hell of an emotional roller coaster too. I just want to reach through the phone and hug him... yet all I can do is say what seems like cliche things in hopes that they will help.
He was in such a great mood the other day, we were laughing so hard we were crying. Today he was so tired he could barely listen let alone respond. He told me how broken down his body feels and I can tell his morale is too. UGH
It breaks my heart to hear how down and fed up he is. Sometimes I forget that he is going through one hell of an emotional roller coaster too. I just want to reach through the phone and hug him... yet all I can do is say what seems like cliche things in hopes that they will help.
He was in such a great mood the other day, we were laughing so hard we were crying. Today he was so tired he could barely listen let alone respond. He told me how broken down his body feels and I can tell his morale is too. UGH
I am Turning Into A Worry Wart....
I am thrilled with how soon CB is coming home. I am also happy that he only wants me to pick him up BUT, yes there always seems to be a but, a few bumps are developing with this plan.
Problem # 1 - The House Key
He can't find his keys, he thinks he left them in his room at base. I do not have keys, which he poked fun of me for when he reminded me of this. His keys are 2 hours away from where I'll be picking him up.
Usually this wouldn't be a problem considering his best friend is his roommate right? Wrong! Have you met his best friend?
Problem # 2 - Cece and the uninviting
She has been counting on coming with me to come pick him up since day 1. That has been the plan since day 1. CB fully wanted her to be there at the start. While I'm unsure of what is going on in their relationship at the moment, I do know he doesn't want her there. This all changed within a matter of 2 weeks. One week he's telling me to tell her the potential homecoming dates and the next "I don't want her there, it'll be awkward". Hmmm. Well I am leaving it up to him to ask her to have a key made and to tell her she isn't coming. Her and I have enough issues between us. I do NOT need her thinking I decided that she shouldn't be there. She needs to hear that from him.
Problem # 3- The Aftershocks of Cece
Now I could be totally wrong, but I don't think I am. She was horrible before he left when him and I were spending all our time together and not really including her but not excluding her either, we were just doing our normal routine. She ended up getting into a funk and being passive aggressive and actually flat out rude and anti-social at the worst part of her "funk". I'm worried about how she will be this time, knowing he doesn't want her there to pick him up and all the fun stuff.
In reality, these are things I shouldn't have to worry about. I wish I could just focus on me and him, but I can't...from time to time she slips into my head and I'm stuck thinking "what if". He usually just ignores her mood swings but I can't. I feel bad for her and I don't want her to feel upset, I feel like it's my fault...but on the other hand... I am not willing to give up my relationship for her feelings. Meh
I would so not do well in a polygamist relationship.
I don't want to share him, she doesn't want to share him, he's too relaxed to notice any of this.
Oh well.
Well it's reading week at school... I guess I should go do some school reading huh?
Problem # 1 - The House Key
He can't find his keys, he thinks he left them in his room at base. I do not have keys, which he poked fun of me for when he reminded me of this. His keys are 2 hours away from where I'll be picking him up.
Usually this wouldn't be a problem considering his best friend is his roommate right? Wrong! Have you met his best friend?
Problem # 2 - Cece and the uninviting
She has been counting on coming with me to come pick him up since day 1. That has been the plan since day 1. CB fully wanted her to be there at the start. While I'm unsure of what is going on in their relationship at the moment, I do know he doesn't want her there. This all changed within a matter of 2 weeks. One week he's telling me to tell her the potential homecoming dates and the next "I don't want her there, it'll be awkward". Hmmm. Well I am leaving it up to him to ask her to have a key made and to tell her she isn't coming. Her and I have enough issues between us. I do NOT need her thinking I decided that she shouldn't be there. She needs to hear that from him.
Problem # 3- The Aftershocks of Cece
Now I could be totally wrong, but I don't think I am. She was horrible before he left when him and I were spending all our time together and not really including her but not excluding her either, we were just doing our normal routine. She ended up getting into a funk and being passive aggressive and actually flat out rude and anti-social at the worst part of her "funk". I'm worried about how she will be this time, knowing he doesn't want her there to pick him up and all the fun stuff.
In reality, these are things I shouldn't have to worry about. I wish I could just focus on me and him, but I can't...from time to time she slips into my head and I'm stuck thinking "what if". He usually just ignores her mood swings but I can't. I feel bad for her and I don't want her to feel upset, I feel like it's my fault...but on the other hand... I am not willing to give up my relationship for her feelings. Meh
I would so not do well in a polygamist relationship.
I don't want to share him, she doesn't want to share him, he's too relaxed to notice any of this.
Oh well.
Well it's reading week at school... I guess I should go do some school reading huh?
Friday, February 18, 2011
Why I didn't get a Valentines Day Present
....He is a dead man lol.
He just told me that while all his friends were sending out Victoria Secret, flowers, and champagne he was reasoning that I didn't need a gift because I was a tough cookie....lol, besides, he says, your birthday isn't until August.
We just had the best phone call, we pissed ourselves laughing the entire time. He, however, is still a dead man walking for his reasoning behind my lack of v-day gift! There better be something shiny in his bags when he gets home OR ELSE!!!
I'm totally kidding.
The best news is he only wants me to pick him up. WOOHOO! Now I have a reason not to invite Cece, who I was scared would mess it all up anyways.
He just told me that while all his friends were sending out Victoria Secret, flowers, and champagne he was reasoning that I didn't need a gift because I was a tough cookie....lol, besides, he says, your birthday isn't until August.
We just had the best phone call, we pissed ourselves laughing the entire time. He, however, is still a dead man walking for his reasoning behind my lack of v-day gift! There better be something shiny in his bags when he gets home OR ELSE!!!
I'm totally kidding.
The best news is he only wants me to pick him up. WOOHOO! Now I have a reason not to invite Cece, who I was scared would mess it all up anyways.
For The First Time
this song came on my playlist on the bus ride home last night. I just so happened to be picturing CB's homecoming and I ended up tearing up on the bus, AGAIN! I seriously need to learn that there is no crying on the bus! Even if they are happy tears.
I was caught up in thinking of things like if I would need my glasses to recognize him? Would he be carrying his bags? How quickly would he drop them if he was? Would I be able to easily spot the other military families waiting? How much pacing back and forth will I do? How the hell am I ever going to let go once I get my arms around him?
I feel like I am walking around with the most amazing secret inside me. Yes, I am anxious and getting very antsy BUT I am also extremely happy to be feeling this way.
I figure I wont need my glasses to pick him out of a crowd. I can already picture his walk and mannerism. I'll recognize his frame as soon as I lay my eyes on it. It's funny, I was so worried about all the things I thought I had forgotten about him, but they're all still there in my memory. They are resurfacing as the countdown gets smaller and smaller. I can better remember the feel of his calloused hands, his smell, his smile, it's all coming back lol.
I'm currently stuck on the memory of me being overly dramatic on the day he left. I remember trying to be so strong and not cry in front of him that we didn't have a proper goodbye and I jumped into my car. I sat there for a minute and kicked myself in the ass. I couldn't leave it at that, got out of my car and ran after him to his car and told him to wait, I needed one more hug. He held on so tight.
Alright I just made myself tear up again lol, time to stop!
MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING HOME!!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A Mini Update - I'm getting Impatient!
My life has been pretty uneventful lately.... hence the lack of posts
I got a hair cut today....she took off 4 inches :( I feel like I have no hair left, even though it's still way pass my shoulders....It's usually to the middle of my back.
Asides from that I'm getting hella excited about my countdown, 14% to go according to my donut of misery! YA BABY!
I met CB's cousins wife yesterday for coffee. We pissed ourselves laughing in Tim Hortons! I actually made her cry with laughter. I told her about my idea of scaring the hell out of CB by stuffing a pillow under my shirt when I pick him up from the airport. By the time we were done joking around the plan involved me in a wheelchair, stomach stuffed, and a balloon attached to my wrist that said "Congratulations! It's a boy!" I do not doubt for a second he would stop in his tracks and run back towards the plane!
It was great to talk to someone else who is just as excited as I am to have him home. His brother and Cece really haven't said a thing to me lately. I find it kinda weird....but meh. At least her and my mom are super happy. I seriously am getting impatient with these last few weeks. Every morning I wake up and I cross off the date on my calendar with my big red sharpie and go down stairs proclaiming "My boyfriends coming home!!!" The neighbors must think I'm crazy lol.
And now I'm off to school.
I got a hair cut today....she took off 4 inches :( I feel like I have no hair left, even though it's still way pass my shoulders....It's usually to the middle of my back.
Asides from that I'm getting hella excited about my countdown, 14% to go according to my donut of misery! YA BABY!
I met CB's cousins wife yesterday for coffee. We pissed ourselves laughing in Tim Hortons! I actually made her cry with laughter. I told her about my idea of scaring the hell out of CB by stuffing a pillow under my shirt when I pick him up from the airport. By the time we were done joking around the plan involved me in a wheelchair, stomach stuffed, and a balloon attached to my wrist that said "Congratulations! It's a boy!" I do not doubt for a second he would stop in his tracks and run back towards the plane!
It was great to talk to someone else who is just as excited as I am to have him home. His brother and Cece really haven't said a thing to me lately. I find it kinda weird....but meh. At least her and my mom are super happy. I seriously am getting impatient with these last few weeks. Every morning I wake up and I cross off the date on my calendar with my big red sharpie and go down stairs proclaiming "My boyfriends coming home!!!" The neighbors must think I'm crazy lol.
And now I'm off to school.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
My Project & a CB Update
Well I posted a while ago I was going to attempt to crochet Gir from the Invader Zim cartoon for CB.....
this is what its suppose to look like
I, not knowing how to crochet at all decided to teach myself.... 3 tries later this is what I've got so far...
He ended up a lot bigger than I planned, I apparently I was adding all kinds of stitches without noticing, but I'm still pretty happy with him so far!
And as far as my CB update, I was ALL smiles yesterday afternoon. I went up to my locker on my break and noticed I got a message from him saying that I am amazing at picking dates. Apparently I nailed his homecoming dates when I booked off time at work. Woohoo!!! Now to start picking our mini vacation destination.
this is what its suppose to look like
He ended up a lot bigger than I planned, I apparently I was adding all kinds of stitches without noticing, but I'm still pretty happy with him so far!
And as far as my CB update, I was ALL smiles yesterday afternoon. I went up to my locker on my break and noticed I got a message from him saying that I am amazing at picking dates. Apparently I nailed his homecoming dates when I booked off time at work. Woohoo!!! Now to start picking our mini vacation destination.
Monday, February 14, 2011
And Then I Saw Him
I walked into the restaurant at work, on my way to my locker, when I froze in place. Sitting at a table, all by him self, was a soldier. Not just any soldier, but a soldier dressed in uniform identical to CB's. I noticed the combats first and felt the first twinge of pain in my heart. The color of his beret is what caught my attention next and drove the knife in a little deeper.
He noticed me staring and frozen. He got up from his seat and stepped towards me. I stepped back. He said hi and I smiled and nodded. I stood there for a few more moments, it felt like forever, just starring at him and him looking at me. I finally found my words and apologized. I told him I didn't mean to be rude, I was just caught up in wishful thinking. He apologized, gave me a pity smile, and stepped out of my way.
I cried the rest of the way to my locker.
I've gotten use to seeing soldiers, the combats don't make me as emotional as they use to, unless it's a really bad day. It's that damn beret that broke me down. I've seen green, I've seen blue, I've seen a few.... just not his color. It doesn't help that I'm blind as a bat from far and all I could see if that he had a similar build, height, and weight. And why on earth did he need to stand up? It only confused me more.
Other than that V-day went off without a hitch. I got to ignore the whole day at work, got an e-mail from CB (surprised he even noticed which day it was lol), and ended the night with some great sushi.
He noticed me staring and frozen. He got up from his seat and stepped towards me. I stepped back. He said hi and I smiled and nodded. I stood there for a few more moments, it felt like forever, just starring at him and him looking at me. I finally found my words and apologized. I told him I didn't mean to be rude, I was just caught up in wishful thinking. He apologized, gave me a pity smile, and stepped out of my way.
I cried the rest of the way to my locker.
I've gotten use to seeing soldiers, the combats don't make me as emotional as they use to, unless it's a really bad day. It's that damn beret that broke me down. I've seen green, I've seen blue, I've seen a few.... just not his color. It doesn't help that I'm blind as a bat from far and all I could see if that he had a similar build, height, and weight. And why on earth did he need to stand up? It only confused me more.
Other than that V-day went off without a hitch. I got to ignore the whole day at work, got an e-mail from CB (surprised he even noticed which day it was lol), and ended the night with some great sushi.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Super Excited
I don't have much time to make a real post as I should be leaving for work but I just had to jot down how I'm feeling at the moment!
It hit me today, like officially hit me, how soon he is coming home!!!!! I am literally dancing around my room with excitement. I even caught myself saying " meh, its only 4 days difference between his earliest possible date to his latest homecoming date, that's nothing!"
I started making him a little craft project. I don't know if any of you know the cartoon Invader Zim? Well there is an adorable little dog called Gir in it and I found a crochet pattern for him and I started him yesterday. Lol well see how he turns out since this is the first time I crochet anything, I'm better at knitting.
I'll post pictures of my progress and what he is actually suppose to look like soon.
Hope everyone has a great day :)
It hit me today, like officially hit me, how soon he is coming home!!!!! I am literally dancing around my room with excitement. I even caught myself saying " meh, its only 4 days difference between his earliest possible date to his latest homecoming date, that's nothing!"
I started making him a little craft project. I don't know if any of you know the cartoon Invader Zim? Well there is an adorable little dog called Gir in it and I found a crochet pattern for him and I started him yesterday. Lol well see how he turns out since this is the first time I crochet anything, I'm better at knitting.
I'll post pictures of my progress and what he is actually suppose to look like soon.
Hope everyone has a great day :)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Engagement!!!!
Just not mine. I met one of my best school friends yesterday for coffee before class and she gave me the best news! Her boyfriend proposed to her earlier this week!
He did such a good job of throwing her off, she had no idea it was coming. Apparently, according to her, the whole "engagement" thing is not part of his culture so they decided he would just get her a bigger/better wedding ring instead. Well he LIED! He bought her the sweetest engagement ring ever and surprised her on his birthday.
I am so happy for her. It's funny though, you can tell she isn't use to the attention. She said she feels like shes in high school all over again. I laughed at this and told her she would probably get use to it in time. And her being her. she replies "well, chances are you'll know soon enough anyways and you can be the one feeling awkward! What isn't he home in just a hand full of weeks anyways?"
I told her that wasn't likely, although not to long ago I thought it was....
Anyways!!!
I got my first midterm back and I rocked it!! I seriously wanted to do my happy dance in the hallway but I restrained myself for when I got home! I get my other one back today too, I hope I did just as well but who knows.
He did such a good job of throwing her off, she had no idea it was coming. Apparently, according to her, the whole "engagement" thing is not part of his culture so they decided he would just get her a bigger/better wedding ring instead. Well he LIED! He bought her the sweetest engagement ring ever and surprised her on his birthday.
I am so happy for her. It's funny though, you can tell she isn't use to the attention. She said she feels like shes in high school all over again. I laughed at this and told her she would probably get use to it in time. And her being her. she replies "well, chances are you'll know soon enough anyways and you can be the one feeling awkward! What isn't he home in just a hand full of weeks anyways?"
I told her that wasn't likely, although not to long ago I thought it was....
Anyways!!!
I got my first midterm back and I rocked it!! I seriously wanted to do my happy dance in the hallway but I restrained myself for when I got home! I get my other one back today too, I hope I did just as well but who knows.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I Love My Boyfriend
So after my rant yesterday I figured I'd post the good part of my day, yesterday.
I got to talk to CB TWICE!!!
I couldn't sleep again the other night and was up when he responded to my facebook message so we started sending a few back and forth until I told him to call. Only by the time he called I was half asleep and apparently I wasn't making any sense. All I remember is him telling me he was sweaty, he loved me, and he would call me later. I slept really well after that lol. It's been soo long since I heard his voice before falling asleep, I forgot how comforting it was.
Phone call #2 made me pretty happy as well. He laughed at the nonsense I was talking earlier, we joked around, and I got to talk to him about my insecurities about him coming home.
I started off by telling him that I knew what I was feeling was silly and stupid but that I still just needed to hear him tell me I was wrong. I expressed all my fears I'm feeling about homecoming, told him I was scared he would leave me again because of our past (he did it twice while we were trying to make things work in the beginning). His Response? "Well then, I really don't need to say anything if you know you're being silly and wrong, do I?" UGH!!! He made me laugh cause it's a typical CB answer. I told him I needed to hear the words and so he said them.
He told me things were different when we got together the last time. He asked if I had forgotten everything he had said to me in the car that night, when he came back and put up a fight for me and asked for me back. I told him I hadn't. He then told me he isn't one to talk emotions, which I told him I know, and he said "so just remember what I said then, I still mean it today. I love you, I miss you, I'm coming home to you". Needless to say my heart melted.
He may not be able to say what he feels all the time but when he does it means the world to me. I think that's part of why deployment has been so rough on me. He shows me in his day to day actions how he feels for me, and him being deployed kind of cuts into that. But I must admit he has done his best. He calls when I need him to, he calls frequently, he gladly bought me a winter jacket when I couldn't afford one, he listens while we are on the phone, and he lets my craziness slide when it shows its ugly head from time to time.
I'm so excited my countdown is getting so small, just about a month left. Woohoo!
Time to get my butt to La Senza and pick out a few outfits. I'm really tempted to buy a cute garter belt and stockings to wear under a dress to the airport BUT I have a feeling I'll probably end up jumping up on him to greet him and his brother and Cece will be there so I don't know exactly how long I'll be "stuck" in the outfit....
I got to talk to CB TWICE!!!
I couldn't sleep again the other night and was up when he responded to my facebook message so we started sending a few back and forth until I told him to call. Only by the time he called I was half asleep and apparently I wasn't making any sense. All I remember is him telling me he was sweaty, he loved me, and he would call me later. I slept really well after that lol. It's been soo long since I heard his voice before falling asleep, I forgot how comforting it was.
Phone call #2 made me pretty happy as well. He laughed at the nonsense I was talking earlier, we joked around, and I got to talk to him about my insecurities about him coming home.
I started off by telling him that I knew what I was feeling was silly and stupid but that I still just needed to hear him tell me I was wrong. I expressed all my fears I'm feeling about homecoming, told him I was scared he would leave me again because of our past (he did it twice while we were trying to make things work in the beginning). His Response? "Well then, I really don't need to say anything if you know you're being silly and wrong, do I?" UGH!!! He made me laugh cause it's a typical CB answer. I told him I needed to hear the words and so he said them.
He told me things were different when we got together the last time. He asked if I had forgotten everything he had said to me in the car that night, when he came back and put up a fight for me and asked for me back. I told him I hadn't. He then told me he isn't one to talk emotions, which I told him I know, and he said "so just remember what I said then, I still mean it today. I love you, I miss you, I'm coming home to you". Needless to say my heart melted.
He may not be able to say what he feels all the time but when he does it means the world to me. I think that's part of why deployment has been so rough on me. He shows me in his day to day actions how he feels for me, and him being deployed kind of cuts into that. But I must admit he has done his best. He calls when I need him to, he calls frequently, he gladly bought me a winter jacket when I couldn't afford one, he listens while we are on the phone, and he lets my craziness slide when it shows its ugly head from time to time.
I'm so excited my countdown is getting so small, just about a month left. Woohoo!
Time to get my butt to La Senza and pick out a few outfits. I'm really tempted to buy a cute garter belt and stockings to wear under a dress to the airport BUT I have a feeling I'll probably end up jumping up on him to greet him and his brother and Cece will be there so I don't know exactly how long I'll be "stuck" in the outfit....
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Kick You In The Face!
So I brought my car to the dealership today to get it looked at since it still isn't starting reliably.
I left 50$ poorer and pissed off.
The guy never told me on the phone that there was a fee just to look at my car yet that's the first thing he tells me when I walk in. "So it's just going to be 50$, like we talked about on the phone" Uh NO we didn't talk about it. All you asked for what my name, my number, and what day I'd like to come in on. THAT'S IT!!!
I told him he was wrong but that I'd be willing to pay it anyways because I need my car to be fixed and was positive it was something wrong which is still under warranty, in which case he would wave the 50$ fee.
The idiot couldn't even find my file in the computer from the last time I was there. I should have known at that point to ask to deal with someone else, like the guy I dealt with the first time I was there. But no, I continued with him. Anyways 15 minutes later he takes my keys and my girlfriend and I leave for lunch.
Fast forward 45 minutes and the idiot is calling me to tell me they're done. He is sorry to inform me but I do owe them 50$ and there is nothing wrong with my car. WTF??? So I ask him how this is possible and he says " I don't know the car started fine for us, anyways you can come pick it up and it will cost 50$." We go back and forth a bit on the phone, me not understand how they didn't find a single thing wrong with the car and him telling me "well you have a brand new belt on your car, when did you get that done?" Um.... I HAVEN'T.
I may not speak car but my car is my baby and I know exactly what has been changed and done to it since I bought it and I'm the only one that has ever owned it, therefore I know my car! So the guy starts arguing with me about this and I tell him I'll be right over to figure everything out.
I get there and he greets me warmly and then he continues to tell me how much I owe, hello dude I heard you the first time! And so I start questioning how they can't figure out what's wrong with my car. He tells me he had a mechanic of 25 years look at it, it started fine and everything looks perfect expect for my automatic starter (which I already know doesn't work). He then goes on to tell me that I should go back to the dealership where I bought the car (2 hours away) to have them fix that and maybe they could figure it out. This is where I lost it. I told him firmly the starter hasn't worked for almost 3 years, it's never given me other problems in the car and I shouldn't have to drive back to where I bought the car to get it fixed, they should be able to tell me what's wrong.
This is about where he lost it! He started raising his voice at me asking if I thought they were incapable of doing their jobs, to which I replied yes! I told him he wasn't listening to the problem, clearly couldn't figure out the problem, and therefore was inadequate at his job. I snatched the bill from his hand, told him he was incredibly rude and that I clearly knew my car better than they did, since they couldn't figure shit out expect for to place blame somewhere else, and them cut off his reply by raising my voice to tell him his customer service skills left something to be desired.
YOU ASS!!!! Ugh he made me so mad. All I would have wanted was a polite "I'm sorry miss, we can't figure out the problem. Here are a few ideas for you to try at home to resolve the issue..." I just wanted him to listen instead of trying to tell me I was wrong. How can I be wrong when I know my car doesn't start in the morning and I'm always late for work or when I know there is a good chance my car wont start in the parking lot after work? I should make him come start my car one morning and then rub his face on the inside of my windshield, which is consistently frosted over every morning now, when it doesn't start.
So now I have no clue what to do.... If the dealership can't figure it out who the hell will?
I left 50$ poorer and pissed off.
The guy never told me on the phone that there was a fee just to look at my car yet that's the first thing he tells me when I walk in. "So it's just going to be 50$, like we talked about on the phone" Uh NO we didn't talk about it. All you asked for what my name, my number, and what day I'd like to come in on. THAT'S IT!!!
I told him he was wrong but that I'd be willing to pay it anyways because I need my car to be fixed and was positive it was something wrong which is still under warranty, in which case he would wave the 50$ fee.
The idiot couldn't even find my file in the computer from the last time I was there. I should have known at that point to ask to deal with someone else, like the guy I dealt with the first time I was there. But no, I continued with him. Anyways 15 minutes later he takes my keys and my girlfriend and I leave for lunch.
Fast forward 45 minutes and the idiot is calling me to tell me they're done. He is sorry to inform me but I do owe them 50$ and there is nothing wrong with my car. WTF??? So I ask him how this is possible and he says " I don't know the car started fine for us, anyways you can come pick it up and it will cost 50$." We go back and forth a bit on the phone, me not understand how they didn't find a single thing wrong with the car and him telling me "well you have a brand new belt on your car, when did you get that done?" Um.... I HAVEN'T.
I may not speak car but my car is my baby and I know exactly what has been changed and done to it since I bought it and I'm the only one that has ever owned it, therefore I know my car! So the guy starts arguing with me about this and I tell him I'll be right over to figure everything out.
I get there and he greets me warmly and then he continues to tell me how much I owe, hello dude I heard you the first time! And so I start questioning how they can't figure out what's wrong with my car. He tells me he had a mechanic of 25 years look at it, it started fine and everything looks perfect expect for my automatic starter (which I already know doesn't work). He then goes on to tell me that I should go back to the dealership where I bought the car (2 hours away) to have them fix that and maybe they could figure it out. This is where I lost it. I told him firmly the starter hasn't worked for almost 3 years, it's never given me other problems in the car and I shouldn't have to drive back to where I bought the car to get it fixed, they should be able to tell me what's wrong.
This is about where he lost it! He started raising his voice at me asking if I thought they were incapable of doing their jobs, to which I replied yes! I told him he wasn't listening to the problem, clearly couldn't figure out the problem, and therefore was inadequate at his job. I snatched the bill from his hand, told him he was incredibly rude and that I clearly knew my car better than they did, since they couldn't figure shit out expect for to place blame somewhere else, and them cut off his reply by raising my voice to tell him his customer service skills left something to be desired.
YOU ASS!!!! Ugh he made me so mad. All I would have wanted was a polite "I'm sorry miss, we can't figure out the problem. Here are a few ideas for you to try at home to resolve the issue..." I just wanted him to listen instead of trying to tell me I was wrong. How can I be wrong when I know my car doesn't start in the morning and I'm always late for work or when I know there is a good chance my car wont start in the parking lot after work? I should make him come start my car one morning and then rub his face on the inside of my windshield, which is consistently frosted over every morning now, when it doesn't start.
So now I have no clue what to do.... If the dealership can't figure it out who the hell will?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Kicked my own ass
I just completed the 300 rep workout challenge and I'm dying!
I had to make some minor adjustments since I didn't have all the equipment. I change the pull ups for something else and used an old paint can instead of a sandbag lol. I am instantly sore!
My legs feel like a ton of bricks and now I can barely lift my arms.
CB seems to be getting a kick out of the fact that I keep coming to him with workout questions. He keeps telling me how proud he is of me too, which seriously helps mid workout! Every time I feel like I can't go on I remind myself of what he's said. I can't wait till he gets home so we can workout together.
I'm also impressed with myself at how much I challenge myself. There were a ton of times I wanted to stop and cry put I just kept pushing myself. I even got myself pumped up to do a few extra reps on some of the exercises. Yay me lol.
Zuzana is incredibly motivating. Her body is incredible and I love her personality. The workouts change so much from day to day that I can't see myself getting bored of them. That's why I've always struggled with the DVD workouts, you know what you're gonna get every time you put the DVD in. BORING.
And on a side note I just wanted to say thank you again to all of you for your kind words. It really helps to know you guys have been through this (deployment) or are going through it. Your words mean a lot to me and give me the "pick-me-up" that I need to finish this deployment. So, thank you!Thank you! Thank you!
Now I'm off to the drug store to go get some epsom salts for my tired muscles.
I had to make some minor adjustments since I didn't have all the equipment. I change the pull ups for something else and used an old paint can instead of a sandbag lol. I am instantly sore!
My legs feel like a ton of bricks and now I can barely lift my arms.
CB seems to be getting a kick out of the fact that I keep coming to him with workout questions. He keeps telling me how proud he is of me too, which seriously helps mid workout! Every time I feel like I can't go on I remind myself of what he's said. I can't wait till he gets home so we can workout together.
I'm also impressed with myself at how much I challenge myself. There were a ton of times I wanted to stop and cry put I just kept pushing myself. I even got myself pumped up to do a few extra reps on some of the exercises. Yay me lol.
Zuzana is incredibly motivating. Her body is incredible and I love her personality. The workouts change so much from day to day that I can't see myself getting bored of them. That's why I've always struggled with the DVD workouts, you know what you're gonna get every time you put the DVD in. BORING.
And on a side note I just wanted to say thank you again to all of you for your kind words. It really helps to know you guys have been through this (deployment) or are going through it. Your words mean a lot to me and give me the "pick-me-up" that I need to finish this deployment. So, thank you!Thank you! Thank you!
Now I'm off to the drug store to go get some epsom salts for my tired muscles.
Starting To Forget...
I'm scared that I am starting to forget, or have already forgotten, certain things about CB...
I can't remember what he smells like, but I do remember he really stinks after working out
I can barely picture his smile, the few photos I have he doesn't smile in.
I forgot how much bigger his hands are than mine, but I do remember how callused and "manly" they were
I can't remember which arm has which tattoo on it, I think I know but I can't be 100% certain and it's driving me nuts.
There is a ton of other more important things but I wont get into them all.
I am torn again between excitement and fear over his approaching homecoming. I know this is probably all normal but it still sucks. I'm excited for the obvious reasons. The fear comes from many places... I'm scared we wont be as connected as we were. I'm scared hes gotten use to being on his own and "single" again, especially since his best friend over there just left his common-law wife.
Despite being a very independent man he is easily influenced by his friends. When he was single he really identified with his single friends and they only encouraged bad behavior amongst each other. Then a lot of them found girlfriends, or started getting serious with the girls they were seeing so he did the same. I'm just scared and insecure about certain things and haven't had the time to talk them over with him. I'm not sure that I want to.
Of course with all this on my mind I can't help but notice he doesn't say I love you or I miss you, as much.
I am clearly pmsing.... lol
I can't remember what he smells like, but I do remember he really stinks after working out
I can barely picture his smile, the few photos I have he doesn't smile in.
I forgot how much bigger his hands are than mine, but I do remember how callused and "manly" they were
I can't remember which arm has which tattoo on it, I think I know but I can't be 100% certain and it's driving me nuts.
There is a ton of other more important things but I wont get into them all.
I am torn again between excitement and fear over his approaching homecoming. I know this is probably all normal but it still sucks. I'm excited for the obvious reasons. The fear comes from many places... I'm scared we wont be as connected as we were. I'm scared hes gotten use to being on his own and "single" again, especially since his best friend over there just left his common-law wife.
Despite being a very independent man he is easily influenced by his friends. When he was single he really identified with his single friends and they only encouraged bad behavior amongst each other. Then a lot of them found girlfriends, or started getting serious with the girls they were seeing so he did the same. I'm just scared and insecure about certain things and haven't had the time to talk them over with him. I'm not sure that I want to.
Of course with all this on my mind I can't help but notice he doesn't say I love you or I miss you, as much.
I am clearly pmsing.... lol
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Zombie mode
I have not slept properly in about a week now. I don't know what's up. I'm exhausted all day and wide awake at night. It's driving my crazy. I'm suppose to be at work right now but because of my lack of sleep I had to come home. I was dizzy, disorientated, and feeling slightly feverish...not a good combo, especially when you're bending and lifting every 20 seconds.
So now I'm at home, pissed that I'm not at work, and not feeling up to studying or working out just yet. Boo.
I have this midterm on Wednesday that I'm iffy about writing. I've only been to 2 of the 4 classes, I haven't finished my readings, let alone had time to study what I have read. I'm really only left with today and Monday to attempt to get it all done, and it's a lot. It isn't one of my core courses so I'm really thinking of just dropping the class....ugh I wish I knew I'd be ready. My biggest issue with this is: IF I do decide to study for it, and try to catch up I still risk not doing well since I missed the lectures. Then I'll be pissed because I could have moved ahead in another class and tackled something that's more important. Blah... I'll probably flip a coin lol.
What would you do? for those of you in school.
I have come up with an exciting idea the other day! I started figure skating when I was really young and kept at it for 14 years. I've always loved it and seriously regretted giving it up. Well the other day I was thinking of how I could make a little extra money and TA-DA it hit me! I'm looking in to getting certified to teach little kids to learn how to skate!!! I did it as a volunteer while I was part of my old skating club, we helped out the coaches, and it was such a great experience. I loved it to death. So hopefully I can figure out all the details this week and get my butt moving on it!
Oh and I'm sore as hell from the workout yesterday and I'm loving it! I had so much energy after I was shocked. I almost wanted to do a second workout but realized that was crazy.
So now I'm at home, pissed that I'm not at work, and not feeling up to studying or working out just yet. Boo.
I have this midterm on Wednesday that I'm iffy about writing. I've only been to 2 of the 4 classes, I haven't finished my readings, let alone had time to study what I have read. I'm really only left with today and Monday to attempt to get it all done, and it's a lot. It isn't one of my core courses so I'm really thinking of just dropping the class....ugh I wish I knew I'd be ready. My biggest issue with this is: IF I do decide to study for it, and try to catch up I still risk not doing well since I missed the lectures. Then I'll be pissed because I could have moved ahead in another class and tackled something that's more important. Blah... I'll probably flip a coin lol.
What would you do? for those of you in school.
I have come up with an exciting idea the other day! I started figure skating when I was really young and kept at it for 14 years. I've always loved it and seriously regretted giving it up. Well the other day I was thinking of how I could make a little extra money and TA-DA it hit me! I'm looking in to getting certified to teach little kids to learn how to skate!!! I did it as a volunteer while I was part of my old skating club, we helped out the coaches, and it was such a great experience. I loved it to death. So hopefully I can figure out all the details this week and get my butt moving on it!
Oh and I'm sore as hell from the workout yesterday and I'm loving it! I had so much energy after I was shocked. I almost wanted to do a second workout but realized that was crazy.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Time to Stop Being Lazy
I have just over a month before CB gets back and it is time to get off my ass.
He has always been in great shape, obviously, and I was in better shape before he left. It is time to knock off the few pounds I put on while he was away from the emotional eating and my bad eating habits.
I realize I spend so much wasted time on the computer "studying" so instead I'm going to hopefully force myself to work out at home. The plan is to use her insane workouts and if I am consistent enough I am going to reward myself with kick boxing classes. Kick boxing has been something I have been dying to do for years but have been to scared to sign up for.
I may or may not take some before and after pictures to see what I can accomplish in a month, I haven't decided yet. But I do know I am not getting on the scale before I start, I don't want to get caught up on numbers. I always kick myself in the ass over the number on the scale. I am going to rely on the mirror and how I feel.
Alright off to trade my slippers for running shoes and try not to die during the first workout.
He has always been in great shape, obviously, and I was in better shape before he left. It is time to knock off the few pounds I put on while he was away from the emotional eating and my bad eating habits.
I realize I spend so much wasted time on the computer "studying" so instead I'm going to hopefully force myself to work out at home. The plan is to use her insane workouts and if I am consistent enough I am going to reward myself with kick boxing classes. Kick boxing has been something I have been dying to do for years but have been to scared to sign up for.
I may or may not take some before and after pictures to see what I can accomplish in a month, I haven't decided yet. But I do know I am not getting on the scale before I start, I don't want to get caught up on numbers. I always kick myself in the ass over the number on the scale. I am going to rely on the mirror and how I feel.
Alright off to trade my slippers for running shoes and try not to die during the first workout.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Exhaustion
I can hear it in his voice. He is worn out and tired. It kills me that I am unable to do more than just give him supportive and encouraging words.
I'm sending out my very last care package today to get him through the last little bit.
I had my first dream about his homecoming, it was nothing romantic lol. He was drunk and insisting on going out to a bar to party, despite the fact that he was way too intoxicated to be let in.
I was just thinking about how long he has been gone and how soon he will be home. It seems like he has missed nothing and everything all at the same time. Does that make any sense to anyone?
I am more than ready to have him home just as I am sure he is more than ready to be home. I am tired of hogging the bed and blankets. I am excited to going back to "steam rolling" over him in the mornings to wake him up. I can't wait to having to go back to walking 2 blocks to go get coffee, instead of walking downstairs and having it ready.
*What I miss about him most today - is his optimism and free spirited ways.
I'm sending out my very last care package today to get him through the last little bit.
I had my first dream about his homecoming, it was nothing romantic lol. He was drunk and insisting on going out to a bar to party, despite the fact that he was way too intoxicated to be let in.
I was just thinking about how long he has been gone and how soon he will be home. It seems like he has missed nothing and everything all at the same time. Does that make any sense to anyone?
I am more than ready to have him home just as I am sure he is more than ready to be home. I am tired of hogging the bed and blankets. I am excited to going back to "steam rolling" over him in the mornings to wake him up. I can't wait to having to go back to walking 2 blocks to go get coffee, instead of walking downstairs and having it ready.
*What I miss about him most today - is his optimism and free spirited ways.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
So Frustrating *updated*
All the buses from my area to the university have been canceled for the last 2 hours, do you think they canceled the course? Nope! No clue how I'm going to get there and it's the last class before the exam.... WTF
It wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't miss class last week or if she actually lectured from the book, but no! She always goes way off subject in class. No clue what to do. Don't know anyone in class and she doesn't post anything online to help us.... Hmmm...
Looks like I'll be standing in the snow for a while hoping a bus shows up. BOO!
*update*
I decided to say fuckit and stayed home from school today. I rather focus my attention on a class that is actually part of my curriculum and study for my exam tomorrow than risk being out there for a simple elective class. If it means I do horrible on the exam next week, oh well I'll drop the class.
It wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't miss class last week or if she actually lectured from the book, but no! She always goes way off subject in class. No clue what to do. Don't know anyone in class and she doesn't post anything online to help us.... Hmmm...
Looks like I'll be standing in the snow for a while hoping a bus shows up. BOO!
*update*
I decided to say fuckit and stayed home from school today. I rather focus my attention on a class that is actually part of my curriculum and study for my exam tomorrow than risk being out there for a simple elective class. If it means I do horrible on the exam next week, oh well I'll drop the class.
Douche Bag
So the other day at work I was really shocked by one of my coworkers. There is this guy, lets call him Joe, that works in a different department than I do but that I have to walk buy to and from my breaks on occasion. Well we have always made small chat, mostly him initiating it. He is aware that I have a boyfriend and yet continues to try and talk to me. At first I thought I was reading too much into it, that was until today.
We both ended up on break around the same time and so when I went to eat lunch I sat at the table he was at (theres only 2 tables and I didnt know anyone else at the other table). I put my phone on the table and started eating my hotdogs. Before I know it he's like "can I snoop around in your phone?" Me, knowing it was locked, said sure go right ahead. I don't really remember how it happened but before I knew what I was doing, I was unlocking my phone to let him scan my bar code. IDIOT!
Hold on it gets worse.
"Hey add me on facebook. I know you're taken. I have a girlfriend but I would like the chance to get to know you." This is what he sends me from across the staff lunch table so nobody hears him. WOW. Someone has balls... I just smiled and joked that I didn't know how to add someone as a friend on facebook from my phone and I'd figure it out later.
He ends up walking down with me when my break is done, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I got up first and said I had to go back and by the time I put my stuff away in my locker hes standing at the door holding it open, waiting for me. We start walking back and he asks if my boyfriend would mind us getting to know each other. I told him that no CB doesn't really care if I add work friends to facebook, and if he wants to talk from time to time on facebook thats fine. I kept trying to mention subtly that I really had no interest in getting to know him one-on-one but I didn't want to be too direct because we all know what response I would've gotten, "oh no, you misunderstood! That's not what I meant!"
Anyways after asking someone at work I found out his girlfriend works at IKEA as well. She is gorgeous and a sweet girl. Also, apparently this is usual behavior for him. Who shits where they eat? What is wrong with people today? Not only is what you are doing wrong on so many levels, you're asking for trouble. I really hope, for her, that I over read into this situation....but I doubt it.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
People Watching
It's basically what gets me through my days at work. I watch the people in my lines and notice certain trends in customers.
There's the classic "gangster" wannabe who wears there sunglasses inside and pays in 20's, they usually seem to act like I should be impressed that they have that much cash on them.... I'm usually just stuck on "how much weed did you smoke before coming in here that you can't take your sunglasses off?"
Then there is the "ultra chic" mid-aged, usually single, woman. She also refuses to take her sunglasses off. She's usually dressed in some ridiculous outfit that is so not weather appropriate, she treats the cashiers in a condescending way, calling us "sweetie" or "hun" and expects her IKEA purchases gift wrapped on a silver platter. All I want to tell her is "You will not meet your future husband at IKEA, all the men that come here are a) gay, b) pushing a stroller, or c) handymen so put your jacket back on and go buy some pants!!"
There is also the married couples, which can be broken down into two categories! The married for "just long enough", where the husband is usually rolling his eyes at his wife while she hums and haws, again, at the cash over if she is buying the right thing. If the husband isn't rolling his eyes in this case, the wife is telling the husband what to do and that he isn't doing it right. I don't think I would be wrong in guessing their life in the bedroom looks exactly the same. Sorry I had to. Okay the second category is the old married couples. I love, love, love these couples. They know their roles so well, they hardly have to say anything. They know who's paying, who's packing, and are almost always pleasant. I just want to hug them.
My least favorite, the creepy old man. He has no concept of personal space, stares too long, gives compliments, uses your name after he's read it on your name tag, and takes too long to move after you have finished his transaction. In these cases I want to go rub hand-sanitizer all over myself.
There are so many others, but I'll save them for a rainy day.
There's the classic "gangster" wannabe who wears there sunglasses inside and pays in 20's, they usually seem to act like I should be impressed that they have that much cash on them.... I'm usually just stuck on "how much weed did you smoke before coming in here that you can't take your sunglasses off?"
Then there is the "ultra chic" mid-aged, usually single, woman. She also refuses to take her sunglasses off. She's usually dressed in some ridiculous outfit that is so not weather appropriate, she treats the cashiers in a condescending way, calling us "sweetie" or "hun" and expects her IKEA purchases gift wrapped on a silver platter. All I want to tell her is "You will not meet your future husband at IKEA, all the men that come here are a) gay, b) pushing a stroller, or c) handymen so put your jacket back on and go buy some pants!!"
There is also the married couples, which can be broken down into two categories! The married for "just long enough", where the husband is usually rolling his eyes at his wife while she hums and haws, again, at the cash over if she is buying the right thing. If the husband isn't rolling his eyes in this case, the wife is telling the husband what to do and that he isn't doing it right. I don't think I would be wrong in guessing their life in the bedroom looks exactly the same. Sorry I had to. Okay the second category is the old married couples. I love, love, love these couples. They know their roles so well, they hardly have to say anything. They know who's paying, who's packing, and are almost always pleasant. I just want to hug them.
My least favorite, the creepy old man. He has no concept of personal space, stares too long, gives compliments, uses your name after he's read it on your name tag, and takes too long to move after you have finished his transaction. In these cases I want to go rub hand-sanitizer all over myself.
There are so many others, but I'll save them for a rainy day.
The e-mail that made my day
Work was going well and lunch time rolled around. I happily ran upstairs to my locker to grab my cigarettes and bolt outside to get my nicotine fix. As I was fishing for my lighter I see the little red light on my blackberry blinking. I had missed a call, from CB! Ugh I was so down, this was 2 days in a row he had called while I was at work. I was so frustrated cause I had sent him a few e-mails telling him which days I was free to talk. I was scared since he had called 2 days in a row he wouldn't have a chance for the rest of the week. So I headed outside pouting.
As I'm smoking my cigarette, I started pulling up the facebook notification, thinking to my self "great another junk invite or mass message". Well, SURPRISE, it wasn't. It was CB, and this is what he wrote:
"Thanks honey bunyy for the words of encouragement, this last month was a long one for sure. sorry I did call you again I was hoping to hear your sweet liittle voice again but ill wait until tomorrow. i hope exam went well the other day. Feb is a short month hurray"
Totally made my day!! I can't help but love that he tried calling knowing he probably wouldn't be able to reach me but had to try just in case. I love that man. I can't wait for tomorrow!!!!! That phone is going to be glued to my hand.
Now for my next wish, cancel classes tomorrow on account of the snowstorm! I could use the whole day to study for the midterm on thursday! Not to mention the 33 other things I need to get done.
And on a quick side note I'd like to say hi and thank you to all my new followers!
Guess What?
This is going to be quick as I am suppose to be getting ready to go to work, blah.
I just wanted to point out the obvious! Today is the first day of February!!!! Woohoo.
Once this month is over it will only be a matter of a handful of days until CB is home!!!!
For all of you with your lovers deployed, I hope this month passes quickly as it brings us one step closer to being with the ones we love.
Yay for February being a mini month!!!
And now to go put on my ugly yellow ikea sweater.....Keep your fingers crossed for me that the snowstorm keeps everyone away!
I just wanted to point out the obvious! Today is the first day of February!!!! Woohoo.
Once this month is over it will only be a matter of a handful of days until CB is home!!!!
For all of you with your lovers deployed, I hope this month passes quickly as it brings us one step closer to being with the ones we love.
Yay for February being a mini month!!!
And now to go put on my ugly yellow ikea sweater.....Keep your fingers crossed for me that the snowstorm keeps everyone away!
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